NEETaku Rants: Why Does Oretama Exist?

Ya know, sometimes it’s actually a good thing to be wrong. Seriously, not being in the right can be quite beneficial. Maybe you prejudged the food at a restaurant that actually turned out to awesome. Maybe the movie you thought would suck from its previews turned out to be one of the best flicks you’ve ever watched. Maybe the chick you brushed off in high school turned out to become a smoking hot babe that you wish didn’t have a boyfriend…Why, oh why did I push you away, Linda?! How could I be so blind?!! Whoa! That got a bit more personal than I would’ve liked, but you get where I’m going.

but...

As we all know there are times where you hope, pray and wish you weren’t wrong. Times where being wrong hurts you to the very depths of your soul. Like the time where I said that Kodomo no Jikan was the worst anime/manga that it had ever been my displeasure to read/view. Guess what folks? I was:

lex-luthor-wrong1

As hard as it could possibly to comprehend, I actually found something worse than the show with a 9-year-old nymphomaniac and a 9 tear old with B cup breasts. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you OreTama. Or, as it’s literally translated: My Balls! What is the plot of Oretama you ask?

” The fate of the world rests in one man’s testicles. In a freak sealing accident, the Queen of Terror is sealed into Satou Kohta’s testicles, thus preventing her from reigning destruction onto the world. However, a lesser devil, Elyse, who was with the Queen of Terror on Earth is determined to release the Queen at all costs. The only way to do so is to make Kohta ejaculate, and Elyse only has thirty days to do it.”

….

What’s that? Didn’t get all of that the first time? Allow me to destroy even more of your brain cells by posting it again in bold text.

” The fate of the world rests in one man’s testicles. In a freak sealing accident, the Queen of Terror is sealed into Satou Kohta’s testicles, thus preventing her from reigning destruction onto the world. However, a lesser devil, Elyse, who was with the Queen of Terror on Earth is determined to release the Queen at all costs. The only way to do so is to make Kohta ejaculate, and Elyse only has thirty days to do it.”

….

…..

…..

Rather than type out just how teeth gnashingly, mind numbingly and window breakingly unnerved I am by all of this, I’m going to let these gifs do the talking.

GIF-Angry-Mad-Going-crazy-Anime-Anime-mad-Anime-angry-Anime-guy-Anime-man-GIFtumblr_mg0v87WHKR1rj3peao1_500tumblr_lkmqiuI7j61qdjhv0o1_500tumblr_inline_mvimod80vR1s4mf38

-Inhales deeply.-

Nope….not done yet….

giphygiphy (1)does-not-compute-nostalgia-c-ozamj7

-Inhales deeply again.-

Okay…WAIT! No, no I’m good now.

Guys…what do you even say to something like this? The fact that some company in Japan saw fit to green light this manga shakes me to my core! This is not some random hentai doujin, folks! Some production company actually got hold of this schlock and thought i’d be a good idea to mass produce copies of it! How? How could any one possibly think this would be entertaining in the slightest?! Even if you are into smut and ecchi, how could you even find the slightest inkling of enjoyment from reading this steaming pile of cow turds?

Say what you will about Kodomo no Jikan, at the VERY least it was based upon some form of reality. Ya know…even if that reality was extremely warped! At least it could be redeemed by attempting to humanize Kokonoe by giving her a tragic back story. But Oretama…there is literally NOTHING redeeming about this manga. NOT…ONE…SINGLE…THING!!!

Do yourselves a favor, people. DO NOT look this crap up. Don’t do it! Not even out of sheer morbid curiosity should you read OreTama. Nothing but pain and regret await you should you open this tome of perversion and idiocy. You have been warned!!

I’m NEETaku, and this was Just…My 2 Cents.

……

J7Z9OIe

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