Going away from anime on this one, folks. Got something big planned for my next few posts and will be working on them all weekend. I guarantee you’re going to enjoy them. :3
That being said…WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO CEREAL COMMERCIALS WHEN I WASN’T LOOKING?!
Whether is was questioning why people liked a cereal that tasted nothing like actual apples, or watching a giant tiger help kids reach for the stars, cereal commercials were way more tame back when I was a kid. They were like mini cartoons centering around sugary products that would otherwise be boring if not for having a multi-colored toucan peddle it to us. Heck, some of them even had story arcs that spanned over multiple commercials. Point being, they were meant to be innocent little adverts that came & went, not micro snuff films like the ones playing on TV today!
Oh sure, it started all “innocent” by having various pieces of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal playing lick each other here or there. But that’s how they got us! Soon, those “innocent” squares of cinnamon revealed their true cannibalistic nature and began consuming each other one by one! And it didn’t stop there folks! No no no no No!! Soon Kellogg’s threw their hats into morbid little ring and created commercials for their new cereal Krave. They didn’t even try to sugarcoat things with their commercials (pun not intended). They just went full on into the murder fest, as shown below:
I mean…I mean what else do you call that but premeditated murder!! How did we go from a chocolate addicted bird to commercials depicting a piece of chocolate being consumed head to toe right outta bed?! How could anyone watch this innocent creature be torn asunder and think to themselves: ” Huh…I could really go for a bowl of cereal..”. Those types of people should be slammed into stocks and pelted with rotten food!!
You would think that’d be the worst of it, but noooooooooooo…As shown in my first pic, Kellogg’s thirst for blood wasn’t sated with just the murder of cereal and chocolate chunks. Oh no, they eventually moved on axing off various flavors of Pop Tarts in ways that’d make the murderer from “Saw” want to take notes! Whether it was a fake photo booth or a fake presidential debate, in the end innocent members of the Pop Tar race found themselves unwittingly forced into toaster and prepped for consumption by heartless human beings!
The biggest offender, of course, was the commercial depicted before starring a fake nurse. I caution you all before clicking this video: It contains disturbing imagery.
Ladies and gentleman, I can no longer sit idly by and watch these poor, unfortunate creatures be slaughtered by the thousands! It is time we took a stand against the senseless killing of cereal critters and toasted pastries!
CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH IS PEOPLE!! CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH IS PEEOOPPPPPLLLEEEEE!!!!