NEETAku Vs: SonSal vs SonAmy

Not every battle is fought with fists, weapons or special powers. Some of the fiercest, bloodiest and downright destructive fights have been waged on the battlefield of the heart! And as any harem shipper can attest, there are always casualties in the Shipping Wars!!! One such battle has been waged since the late 90s/early 2000s and shows no signs of stopping. That is, of course, the battle between:

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Sally Acorn: The face that launched 1000 furries!

And:

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Amy Rose: The prototypical stalker chick!

Only one of them can win the heart of Sonic the Hedgehog, and today I’m going to tell you who deserves it the most!! Starting with:

Princess Sally Acorn

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First introduced to us in Sonic SatAM, Sally Acorn is far from the stereotypical princess character. Much like Zelda, Sally didn’t just cower in a tower after Robotnik took over Mobotropolis. Instead she became the leader of the Freedom Fighters and has been at the helm of several battles against the ruthless tyrant, coordinating each and every attack as well as getting her hands dirty in actual combat. That’s right, this little chipmunk is not afraid to get in there and bust some heads! She more than makes up for her lack of physical gifts with a genius level IQ and advanced knowledge of technology. I mean,s he created a friggin AI and infused it with nanotech, causing it to be able to build an entire city!! Siri has nothing on Nicole, son!!

I suppose I’ve put it off long enough, so allow me to address the elephant in the room. Sonic and Sally have, within the canon of the comics/cartoon, have been a couple as many times as Ric Flair has been World Champion (sorry…still in wrestling mode from my last post xD). No matter the saga, arc or story, at some point those two have been an item. That’s not necessarily a good, though, as they’ve also broken up just as many times as they’ve been together, usually due to either Sonic being a bonehead or Sally being too prissy. This has caused many fans to despise Sally as she’s been quick to rebound with her most recent breakup and find a new man to love. Khan the Monkey King, Knuckles for s short time, Geoffrey St. John, Donner, Dasher, Blitzen, Dopey, Doc, Grumpy…you get it! No matter the fling, however, she always comes back to Sonic in the end. I mean, it only makes sense seeing as how they have been friends since they were babies.

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Destined to be together? Not if Amy has anything to say about it!!

Ok! Enough talk about the Queen of Furries! Let’s move on to our next contender!!

Amy The Hedgehog

Amy

Amy is….Amy is…let’s face it folks: She’s a fangirl stalker. At least, that is how she started out in the comics when she was known as Rosey The Rascal. She made stalking people cool before Lola ever did!

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Ahem! The version of Amy most people know about didn’t come into being until after she made a wish on the Chaos Emeralds to become old enough to date Sonic. Of course, she only became older physically, not mentally. Needless to say there was a lot of room left from growth, and grow she did. Unlike the version in Sonic Adventure, Amy in the comics becomes a force to be reckoned with. Armed with her trusty hammer, she has been known to tear Swat Bots to shreds with a single swing and take down warships with a single toss of said hammer. She easily matches Bunnie Rabbot in terms of brute force without robotic body parts, which is quite an impressive feat given her origins as a character.

Despite all of this outward growth, however, she is still an 8-year-old in a 15 year old’s body. She still tags along behind Sonic like a lovestruck pup, and is prone to bouts of just swooning over how awesome Sonic is. Heck, her evil doppelgänger is a sadistic, maniacal, twisted, deranged psychopath that doesn’t want to have Scourge as a boyfriend: She wants to kill him using a spiked hammer!!!

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The dark side of fandom

Actually….I sort of wish this version of Amy was around more often. She reminds me a lot Gasai Yuno from Mirai Nikki. You know….without the body count…

Soooo…after taking into account all of the Pros and Cons of both of these lovely ladies, which one do I think makes for a better girlfriend for the Blue Blur? I know it might seem like the predictable answer, but Sally just offers more in that department.

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Give me a chance to explain, SonAmy fans!!

Look, I’m all for not taking the path already trodden. The dynamic of a fangirl finally getting her man might actual turn out to provide some unique and interesting character dynamics. However…simple infatuation does not a stable relationship make. Once that initial obsession period is over….what’s left for Amy to really offer? Sally, on the other hand, can and has helped Sonic grow as a person quite a bit. And isn’t that what one wants from a life partner? Someone who can help better themselves and fill in for their shortcomings? Sorry, SonAmy fans, but Amy just doesn’t measure up to Sally.

But what do I know? That’s Just…My 2 Cents!!!

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5 thoughts on “NEETAku Vs: SonSal vs SonAmy

  1. Interesting topic. As much as I would pick Sally, she did have moments with other characters besides Sonic. I remember hearing about that in the comics where Amy grew up for Sonic. Sonic has a lot to deal with besides Eggman.

    Liked by 1 person

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